Brooke's Mérida, México Adventure: August 2012

Easily one of the saddest days of my life. It is 5:21 a.m. and I haven't slept tonight. Too many tears, packing, and goodbyes for me to sleep. I can't stand the thought of leaving, so I decided not sleeping will allow me to enjoy and savor the last moments I am here in Mexico. I can't express in words how much I am going to miss this place. I love this place. Merida ripped out a piece of my heart and it going to keep it for a long time. More so than the place it self, but the people. The people taught me so much through their Christ-Like examples and through the person that they make me want to be. I changed a lot here in Mexico. A LOT. I feel more like Brooke than I have in a REALLLLLLY long time. I have smiled, served, struggled, learned, and had a blast doing it. I can't thank everyone enough that has helped me here in Merida. From my teachers in school, to the director of the program, to my AMAZING host family, to my friends, and to my family. I love this place. I have become a new person, and I don't think that I ever want to go back to who I was before this trip. I have learned that people are so important and that developing relationships with others is so fulfilling, even more fulfilling than getting a 4.0 on a transcript. I wouldn't trade the relationships that I have made for anything in the world. I honestly feel like the luckiest girl in the world having been able to spend 7 weeks here in Merida. Seriously, I am the luckiest girl. I learned so much about myself and about the kind of person I want to be, the kind of life that I want to live. And you know what I realized? Life is WAY top short to ever second guess yourself. Way too short to doubt what you want to do and way too short to ever doubt yourself. I have never felt so close to my Heavenly Father as I have on this trip. There were times when I didn't have a cell phone or didn't have anyone to turn to for help, but I could turn to Him. He was always there, always listening. WAITING for me to present my problems. I also learned on this trip that I can do hard things that I can be confident, and that I can do things other people think are impossible. I am dreading going back to a reality where I face work, school (my junior core material), dating, and chasing my dreams. But at the same time I need to face that. I need to take what I have learned about myself and my life and incorporate them into my other life so that I can be the best Brooke that I need to be. And hopefully in the midst of me being my best self, I will be able to better those around me as well. Now is the time for me to become that girl that I have always wanted to become. So even though I face this final tearing goodbye with remorse, I honestly look at it as a challenge to ask the question---WHY NOT ME? Why can't I become exactly the person that I wish to become? I have learned everything I need to to be that girl, so why not? I know that with the Lord literally NOTHING is impossible. In fact, without a doubt I know I can do all things through the Lord and HARD WORK. Mexico, thank you for teaching me to relax, to care for others on a level I never have been able to, to reach out of my comfort zone, for the parties, and more parties, and more parties, for the schooling, for the beauty, and for reminding me exactly why I am here on earth. And that is=To better myself and become the best I can be. I am literally sick to my stomach right now because I know that I am going to miss the people here, but even more so I realize the great task I have ahead of me upon my return to the States. I love Mexico. I love everything about it. Here I come United States, ready or not.
VIVA MEXICO!!!